Michael Armstrong joined the Steamboat Pilot & Today team in August 2016 as a copy editor and page designer. He is a bipedal, warm-blooded mammal capable of abstract thought, pattern recognition and information extrapolation. Other notable features include approximately 20 digits spaced evenly between two feet and two hands, which he uses leisurely and in daily work-related tasks. At Michael’s weight, he would have to fall approximately 7 stories to reach terminal velocity (with a safety net, of course.) He routinely parades around as his spirit animal, a pink unicorn, and sometimes he makes pie. He doesn’t remember his first steps, but using the aforementioned information extrapolation techniques, he has deduced at some point he learned to walk.