Soroco football blasts Plateau Valley on the scoreboard, by the numbers
September 14, 2012
Oak Creek — Like a computer game you were forced to play during elementary school, the Soroco High School football team helps make math fun.
Yet again Friday night, the Rams took the field against a vastly inferior opponent, winning by an absurdly lopsided score for the third time in as many games this year. On Friday, Plateau Valley absorbed the mauling, and Soroco emerged with a 63-0 victory.
It's hard to consider, let alone watch, the Rams playing football without the brain drifting to estimations and, eventually, calculations.
No. 1: The running clock kicks in with one minute remaining in the first quarter after junior fullback Ian Palyo rumbles in from 15 yards — dragging four tacklers for various distances — to make it 42-0. It's 7:40 p.m. Quarters last 12 minutes, and the clock stops for 15 minutes at halftime and about three minutes between quarters.
What time will the game end?
No. 2: The Rams scored six first quarter touchdowns, missed on three extra point opportunities, scored one two-point conversion, made two extra-point kicks and, after a horribly unfortunate Cowboy accidentally took a knee on kickoff at his own 1-yard line, scored a safety.
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Playing about a three-quarters varsity lineup in the second quarter, the Rams scored two touchdowns.
There were 35 plays in the first quarter, 11 for the Soroco offense, and 11 in the second quarter, 5 for the Soroco offense.
Without forgetting about the running clock, how much could Soroco win by, if it were so inclined?
No. 3: Senior quarterback Nic Paxton finished with six touchdowns, three through the air — two to AJ Anderson and one to Matt Regan — and three running. Keenan Bradshaw and Garrett McCullar also added scores for the Rams.
Paxton had 60 yards rushing on four carries and 200 yards through the air on a perfect 10-10 passing with no sacks. He stopped throwing early in the second quarter and stopped playing at half.
How many touchdowns could he score if he played the whole game?
Extra credit: Using those stats, how many times was Paxton tackled?
Finding an answer to any of those questions is complex during the game. Timeouts, injuries, out-of-breath referees, severe weather and random acts of God could factor in. For the Rams, however, it seemed so simple.
Soroco was the far superior team, and it won by an absurd margin, improving to 3-0 on the season.
As fun as gridiron math may be, none of those is the crucial question that hangs over this football team. That one — "Is it real?" — can't be answered until Friday, when the team faces its first legitimate test in a trip to play at Hayden.
Will Soroco have sharp No. 2 pencils when it counts? With both teams factoring into the 8-man rankings — the Tigers are No. 7, and Soroco's receiving votes — it is set to be a doozy.
There, the outcome may seem a bit more like calculus and a bit less like simple arithmetic.
"These games are giving us confidence," Paxton said, considering the blowouts and looking ahead to Hayden. "We're 100 percent ready. The league title will probably be on the line in that game. I'm a senior now, and I want it."
1. 8:43 p.m. 2. 94 points, or thereabouts, figuring 2.5 touchdowns per quarter for three quarters after the first. 3. 9. He had a hand in two-thirds of the team's touchdowns, so if Soroco had scored 94, that would work out to about 62 points for Paxton, which is nearly nine touchdowns. Extra credit: One.