Joanne Palmer's Life in the 'Boat column appears Wednesdays in the Steamboat Today. Email her at email@example.com
Find more columns by Palmer here.
@joannepalmer: Hello, Mother Nature, are you there?
@mothernature: Of course I’m here. I work 365 days a year, 24 hrs a day. What’s up, I just got out of the shower.
@joannepalmer: You’re, um … real?
@mothernature: Well, um … yes … otherwise how could I be tweeting with you?
@joannepalmer: Good point.
@mothernature: I’m about to go into a meeting with Mr. Precipitation, so what’s on your mind?
@joannepalmer: What were you thinking, closing the ski area with high winds two days in the same week?
@mothernature: Maybe I was hoping they’d name another ski run after me … LOL!
@mothernature: Sorry, I got carried away. Girls just want to have fun, you know?
@joannepalmer: It was spring break! Busy as Xmas and we had to close!
@mothernature: Well, pardon me. I repeat. I got carried away.
@joannepalmer: I repeat. Knock it off. It was a low snow year anyway and what little we had you blew away.
@mothernature: March madness.
@joannepalmer: That’s basketball.
@mothernature: OK, I will take it up with Mr. Wind at our weekly staff meeting.
@joannepalmer: You have staff meetings?
@mothernature: Yes, and just like any other organization, politics are involved.
@joannepalmer: Oh, that’s sad.
@mothernature: Yes, Wind and Precipitation are engaged in a turf war.
@joannepalmer: Been there, done that.
@mothernature: Having real problems with the performance of Barometric Pressure, but I won’t burden you with that.
@joannepalmer: You operate like a corporation?
@mothernature: Of course. He may not be getting a raise.
@mothernature: Back to the wind. Why don’t you invent skis with sails for those windy days?
@joannepalmer: Ah, I don’t think so.
@mothernature: Well, were the downtown businesses happy?
@joannepalmer: Why, yes, they probably were. I saw a lot of visitors carrying shopping bags.
@mothernature: And wasn’t there a lot of hot air blowing around town recently as people argued about Steamboat 700?
@joannepalmer: Actually, yes.
@mothernature: So you see, it’s not just me who blows air.
@joannepalmer: New topic, please!
@mothernature: OK, what are you doing for mud season?
@joannepalmer: In my fantasy life, I’m going to the islands. In reality, I’m staying here.
@mothernature: I see. Anything I can do to help?
@joannepalmer: Yes! Please don’t flood the desert. Keep it warm and dry. No floods!
@mothernature: Anything else?
@joannepalmer: Don’t kill my daffodils.
@mothernature: Got it.
@joannepalmer: How ’bout keeping the April/May snow until next season?
@mothernature: I’ll see what I can do. I may have to take it up with my superiors.
@mothernature: I can’t get into details.
@joannepalmer: Have you been affected by the economy?
@mothernature: Why yes! There will be 25 percent fewer hurricanes and 35 percent fewer tornadoes, but 80 percent more cloudy days because full-blown sunny days are really expensive.
@joannepalmer: I like the sun, please don’t take it away.
@mothernature: I can’t go into overtime.
@joannepalmer: Well what about mud season? Can you make clean mud that doesn’t track into the house?
@joannepalmer: What about the summer? Can you make the growing season longer so I can grow a tomato?
@joannepalmer: Well, you certainly have a good sense of humor.
@mothernature: In my business, it’s essential.
@joannepalmer: Mine too! I’ll tweet with you later. Next time we better stick with the 140 character rule.
@mothernature: Yes, it’s not nice to fool Mother Nature, you know … LOL