In 1989, Joanne Palmer left a publishing career in Manhattan and has missed her paycheck ever since. She is a mom, weekly columnist for the Steamboat Pilot & Today, and the owner of a property management company, The House Nanny. Her new book "Life in the 'Boat: How I fell on Warren Miller's skis, cheated on my hairdresser and fought off the Fat Fairy" is now available in local bookstores and online at booklocker.com or amazon.com.

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In 1989, Joanne Palmer left a publishing career in Manhattan and has missed her paycheck ever since. She is a mom, weekly columnist for the Steamboat Pilot & Today, and the owner of a property management company, The House Nanny. Her new book "Life in the 'Boat: How I fell on Warren Miller's skis, cheated on my hairdresser and fought off the Fat Fairy" is now available in local bookstores and online at booklocker.com or amazon.com.

Joanne Palmer: Sorry, can't talk - I'm on Facebook

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— I'd really like to write this column but I'm busy socially networking.

Hang on just a second while I check my Facebook page. It's been more than 10 minutes since I last looked at the status updates of my friends. Wow! Sure enough, one of my friends just posted an update. She is "going to the grocery store." Wow! Can you believe it? Hang on while I comment on that. Have a little patience, readers, I need to type this reply: "What are you making for dinner?"

OK, now I'm back to the column.

Well, I'd like to focus on this column, but it could take awhile because she might text me from the store about a sale item or a really good recipe idea. Or better yet, a scandalous piece of gossip she picked up in the produce aisle.

I haven't heard from her, so I guess I can get back to writing. Just a minute, I decided to take a quiz I found on Facebook, "Which 80's Band Are You?" Hey, guess what? I'm like the rock band, Boston. Who the heck are they? Just a minute, I have to Google them. OK, their big hit is "More Than A Feeling." Do I know that song? Stand by while I listen to it on You Tube. Yuck! That is not one of my favorite songs and the video of the band is even worse - they all look like they are wearing powder blue leisure suits. Maybe I should take a different quiz. There are lots to choose from. "What 2008 Song Are You?" "Are You Clinically Insane?" "What Color Dragon Are You?"

Gosh, an hour has gone by, and I never had time to take an additional quiz because one of my Facebook friends gave me a virtual poke. So I had to poke her back. And then she poked me, so I poked her, and then I realized that I better stop poking her and get down to work.

Oops, I have to interrupt this column to bring you breaking news. One of my friends is "going to get a haircut." Hey, I wonder if that means she'll change her profile picture. I'll have to check back soon to find out.

Speaking of profile pictures, can you readers give me a quick second so I can change mine? The one I have now shows me sitting on a friend's tractor. The good news is the photo isn't a close-up so no one can comment on how unkind the aging process has been to me. The bad news is some people think I'm a farmer! I got an e-mail from a former colleague in New York City: "Hey, Jo you were so smart to get out of publishing and take up farming."

Oh gosh, another poke. I'll be right back.

Poke. Poke, poke. STOP. Poke, poke, poke, poke. POKE!

While gone, I had a request to join a cause. I'm now a member of "Feel Your Boobies," which promotes breast self-exams.

Hang on, two people just challenged me take an IQ test to try to top their score.

I'll be right back.

Oh dear, I just got tagged in a photo.

I'll be right back.

Tag. Tagtagtagtag. Tag. STOP. Tag. STOP. TAG.

OK, I'm back. I had to join a group, "What Are You Reading These Days?" I'm always asking people that question, and now Facebook does it for me.

Whooo-hooo.

Gee, another hour has passed, and I still haven't finished this column. Oh well, my word count is up so I guess I'll see you next week.

Unless I'm still on Facebook.

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