Tom Ross' column appears in Steamboat Today. Contact him at 970-871-4205 or tross@SteamboatToday.com.
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Steamboat Springs I'm really looking forward to Sunday's nationally televised Bruce Springsteen concert. I might even catch a little of the football scrimmage that's being played before and after the performance.
Let's be real. This year's Super Bowl game can't hope to match the drama of last year's game. It was Super Bowl XLII when New York Giants receiver David Tyree trapped a pass from Eli Manning against his helmet to keep the winning drive alive.
If all of the experts know what they are talking about, the Pittsburgh Steelers defense will grind down the high-flying Arizona Cardinals by the time Springsteen and the E Street Band take the stage Sunday for the halftime extravaganza and break into the opening chords of "Tenth Avenue Freeze Out."
We got invited to a swell Super Bowl party this year, and I'm betting the game will be so boring that we'll be playing charades between commercials in the second half. I can imagine it going something like this:
"Two words. First word. Square, rectangle, lifting rectangle, open the window! Rub window? Clean window? Bugs? Window screen!
"Second word. Pass. Kurt Warner. Football. Screen Pass!
"Hold on. There's more?
"OK. Head. Knock head. Hard head? Chew. Chew on bone. Pass bone? Bone, bone, bone - bone meal? Bonehead? Put it together. "Screen pass, bonehead."
I've got it! That boneheaded offensive coordinator should have called a screen pass on third down inside his own 20 yard line! What was he thinking?
Hey, even if your host and hostess won't allow charades during the Super Bowl itself, you can enjoy the chow and the commercials.
My wife was trying to decide what appetizer to take to Sunday's party and ran this recipe from Sunset magazine by me: "Chevre (that's goat cheese) with pistachios and orange blossom honey served on flat bread. The magazine's suggested wine pairing is Foxen 2007 Chenin Blanc.
Flat bread? Did she say flat bread?
Don't worry. I quickly straightened her out. We are not taking chevre to a Super Bowl party, and unless Foxen Chenin Blanc is a brand of beer, it's not coming with us either.
The list of approved Super Bowl food items includes: chili, chips, clam dip, salad (if it has bacon in it), any hearty soup, Lil' Smokies sausages, chips, nachos, beef jerky, green chili, nachos drenched in chili, Dagwood sandwiches, guacamole, chicken wings and burgers. But not veggie burgers!
PETA would love for us to take veggie burgers to the party Sunday. The animal rights organization even went to the expense of producing a commercial advocating vegetarianism just for the Super Bowl. But don't expect it to air on NBC. The network rejected it because it features lingerie models displaying an affinity for one of the four food groups. NBC execs felt it crossed the decency line.
You can watch the commercial for yourself on the Internet. I'm not recommending it, but it's safe to say you would be among millions of committed vegetarians who already have viewed it (some more than once).
If you are someone who blushes easily, stick to the commercials that have not been banned by NBC. There will be plenty of entertaining ads during the numerous and thoughtful TV timeouts planed to let football fans get up from the couch to fetch another glass of Chenin Blanc.
You can count on seeing three brand new Budweiser commercials featuring the Clydesdales. If you pay close attention, you'll see Coke and Pepsi renew the cola wars. Coke has an animated commercial slated for the Super Bowl, and Pepsi will tout its SoBe brand of water with Super Sunday's first 3-D commercial.
The pre-game favorite, however, is a public service message being underwritten by Pedigree dog food. It portrays homeowners with inappropriate pets such as Bruno the ostrich and Rusty the rhino and advocates pet adoption.
Trust me, Rusty the rhino will be more entertaining than the football game.