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Tom Ross

Tom Ross' column appears Tuesdays and Sundays in Steamboat Today. Contact him at 970-871-4205 or tross@SteamboatToday.com.

Why couldn't Steamboat Springs have a mayor like Oscar B. Goodman, of Las Vegas?

Hizzoner Mayor Goodman had the nerve this month to seek $50 million in federal economic stimulus money to help his city complete the restoration of a historic building in downtown Vegas so that it can house the new Museum of Organized Crime and Law Enforcement.

Mayor Goodman told The Associated Press in December 2008 that it's a well-known fact that mobsters helped found Sin City's casino strip and reasoned that his town might as well celebrate its roots.

When the mayor went after your tax dollars in an effort to preserve the memory of his city's illicit gambling beginnings, his own senator, Majority Leader Harry Reid, issued a stern reminder that he already had laid down the law. There will be no earmarks when it comes to distributing stimulus bucks, a spokesman for Reid reiterated this week.

Undeterred, Goldman told The New York Times during the weekend that the future tourist attraction meets all of the requirements for wise application of stimulus dough. It preserves history, restores a classic building and boosts employment.

Hey, Mr. Mayor. Go big or go home! I'm with you, bro.

So, I'm proposing some additional museums around the country, which I'm sure would benefit from an infusion of stimulus dollars.

Take, for example, the official Spam Museum in Austin, Minn., It's located conveniently just off Interstate 90 between the Black Hills of South Dakota and the ducky rides of the Wisconsin Dells. The Spam Museum encompasses 16,500 square feet of exhibits including Spam ad campaigns throughout the decades, a patriotic celebration of the role Spam played in winning World War II, and a hands-on assembly line where visitors can pack the mystery meat into its distinctive 12-ounce cans. Admission is free.

From Minnesota, travel east to Boston, Mass., and take Route 93 about eight miles south of the city to track down the Museum of Bad Art in the basement of the Dedham Community Theater.

The museum is devoted to paintings that are so awful in their execution they are fascinating. I especially like the "Man-a Lisa." Don't miss the museum gift shop for postcards that will leave your friends dumbfounded.

Finally, there is Barney Smith's Toilet Seat Art Museum in Alamo Heights, Texas.

Smith has a huge collection of art in which toilet seats have become his substrate of choice for paintings and collages. Don't ask me how he came up with 700 toilet seats.

Instead of painting on canvas, Smith has celebrated everything from the pyramids of Egypt to the Kennedy Space Center on commode covers.

And that's where Mayor Goodman's plan to use stimulus dollars belongs. Right in the commode.