Home

Margaret Hair

Margaret Hair's column appears Fridays in the 4 Points arts and entertainment section in the Steamboat Today. Contact her at 871-4204 or e-mail mhair@steamboatpilot.com.

I get a lot of junk e-mail.

It's not technically spam - most of these e-mails come from PR companies whose Listservs I asked to be on - but at least 10 times an hour, I go through my e-mail account and skim the headlines of press releases that have little to nothing to do with art or music in Northwest Colorado.

If those press releases don't include a link to something free or a downloadable digital music file, I delete them. Most of the events-related releases are for shows in New York or Los Angeles, and most of the CD-related releases are for obscure bands, so I feel OK junking the majority.

But one in every 200 press releases or so catches my eye, even if it's for an album that doesn't come out for six months or a tour that focuses specifically on Holland. Out of those releases, maybe one out of 50 makes me laugh out loud.

That happened on Tuesday for the first time in a long time, with a message from Nasty Little Man PR, a music promotion firm out of New York. The headline: "Josh Freese: Since 1972." "Solo album to be released in 11 configurations from $7 to $75,000." "Physical release April 14."

I had to read further down to recognize Josh Freese, the one-time drummer for The Vandals, Devo and Nine Inch Nails, among other groups (namely, Sting and A Perfect Circle).

The $7 configuration of a release I kind of doubt anyone in Steamboat will buy is totally normal: a digital download of Freese's retrospective album, complete with three music video downloads. For $15, you get a physical CD. From there, it gets weird.

The $50 deal includes a personal "thank you" phone call from Freese. For $500, he'll take you to a dinner buffet. For $1,000, he'll cut your hair. By the time the release winds up at $75,000, Freese is offering flying trapeze lessons, his services as a personal assistant and hordes of illegal activities.

Sure, this press release is a joke - but so are most press releases, and this one offered me a valuable lesson: if you think what you do is boring, it will be. If the PR agent who represents Josh Freese wanted to write the standard "this groundbreaking release has been described as 'the most earth-shattering rock compilation since :' by :" hype-up, they could have.

If most of the bands that play in Steamboat Springs bars wanted to phone it in, they probably could - people still would come to the bar. If Steamboat's art galleries wanted to put up new work every three months instead of every first Friday, they might get away with it - there's a good enough chance some art would still sell.

But they don't do that, which is what makes arts and entertainment in Steamboat that one-in-10,000 press release that makes you laugh.

- To reach Margaret Hair, call 871-4204

or e-mail mhair@steamboatpilot.com.