Steamboat Pilot & Today

Joanne Palmer

Joanne Palmer's Life in the 'Boat column appears Wednesdays in the Steamboat Today. Email her at jpalmer@springsips.com

Find more columns by Palmer here.

Dedicated to all locals who must work this holiday season. There's not enough space to include all of you, but a special thanks to: taxi and shuttle drivers, housekeepers, concierges, front desk clerks, property managers, wait staff, newspaper staff, ski patrol, cashiers, UPS and FedEx drivers, and, most of all, snow shovelers.

Every tourist

Coming to Steamboat

Liked Christmas a lot :

But the Grinch,

Living just north of Oak Creek,

Did NOT!

The Grinch hated Christmas! He hated it all;

He hated the skiing, he hated the snow,

He shivered and shook when it reached 10 below.

He hated the joy, the merry and mirth,

He hated the idea of great peace on Earth.

The season was cold and heartless and mean;

Wrapped in ribbons and bows, he hated the scene.

Tourists complained when things went awry,

And greed seemed to glaze over every child's eye

For tourists there was pleasure, rapture, and joy,

A smile and chocolate for each girl and boy.

But down in the town where locals resided

Were stores to be tended and tours to be guided

The Grinch knew they worked with never a frown,

For tourists, they said, must not be let down.

So they gave up their Christmas Day

To bring in the dough

So other could frolic and roll in the snow

He wanted to be happy, he wanted to relax

He wanted to have someone bringing HIM snacks.

Christmas is coming, it should be a cinch

But he'd run out of time and his bank balance was pinched!

To top it all off, he was sick, sick, sick;

His head was all stuffy and he didn't give a flick.

The tourists fly in and bring in the flu

That makes everyone in town go, "Achoo!"

His fingers were frozen and so were his toes

It's hard to stay warm when ol' Doc Winter blows

The snow coming down upon Christmas boughs

Kept Grinch at work with a shovel and plow.

So into the night he worked and he slaved

Till pop went his back

And both his knees caved.

As he lay there curled up and moaning his pain,

His boss came to him and said, "Shovel again!"

"No!" said the Grinch, "this really bites!"

"I've slipped in the snow and my back is in spasm

I wish I could fly far from this Christmas chasm!"

A family of tourists spied the old Grinch

They said very sweetly, "You're in quite a pinch."

"So sweet Mr. Grinchy" they said with a grin,

"Come warm yourself, dear, at our little inn."

"Merry Christmas," they said, "and to you a good night,"

"We're happy to save you from such a cold plight."

The Grinch, he then melted

And his eyes sparkled bright

And his heart grew two sizes larger that night.

He resolved that moment before his situation worsened

That he would become a Christmas person.

He called down to room service,

"Bring me a feast!"

I'm ready to start this holiday season

And carve my roast beast!