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Margaret Hair

Margaret Hair's column appears Fridays in the 4 Points arts and entertainment section in the Steamboat Today. Contact her at 871-4204 or e-mail mhair@steamboatpilot.com.

Until about a week ago, it had been awhile since I had seen an artist's rider.

For those who have never had the joy of hunting down a very specific number of bottles of a very specific brand of bottled water for a very specific stage setup of musicians and their crew, a rider is the list of required amenities provided by a concert producer to a concert performer.

Most of the list is technical, outlining the electrical inputs and lighting requests and house instruments the artist prefers and would really, really like to have on hand, as per the contract (or some other legal-sounding jargon, minus the "really, really"). These are the things that make sure the show happens and that everyone gets paid.

As such, the most interesting part of any rider is the catering section. There are plenty of ways this section can go, from a bevy of requests for beer and wine and whiskey, to an outline for an all-organic vegetable buffet. Typically, there is a little bit of both, all with the essential function of making sure the band and crew is fed, sometime between setting up and tearing down.

The requests are rarely outlandish, but they are amusing when placed in the outline note-taking format they teach you in high school. Often, these lists come just that way. For example, an excerpt from the list for Kenny Wayne Shepherd's appearance Saturday at the Free Summer Concert Series:

A.Twenty-four (24) bath size towels

B. Sixty (60) bottles of spring water (12-16 ounces). No Evian please.

C. Fresh vegetables (baby carrots, cucumbers, celery, etc.)

D. One (1) container of vegetable dip

The list goes on to include diet sodas and Red Bull, Caesar salad with no croutons, Buffalo wings and 2 percent milk. Then are types of sandwiches divided by day, and a request for homemade cherry pie (my temptation to leave a copy of a Warrant cassette on the table instead of the desired pastry would, in this instance, probably override a desire to not get fired).

I'm sure the inclusion of brand names and modifiers such as "double pepperoni" or "no Evian please" is to make sure nothing goes horribly awry and that the producer doesn't accidentally kill off their main stage performer by feeding him something he's allergic to - though I'm fairly certain the allergy for "single pepperoni" is extremely rare.

And I'm sure if Shepherd arrived at a concert venue to an incomplete catering table, his reaction would probably be closer to, "Bummer. No pie tonight," than it would be to outrage. There's also something to be said for prohibiting alcohol from the backstage area and keeping your vices minimal - chicken wings and pizza are the only objectively unhealthy items on Shepherd's list.

Given Shepherd's ability to tear apart blues standards along with original tunes closer to Southern rock, the healthy catering route seems to be working.

- To reach Margaret Hair, call 871-4204

or e-mail mhair@steamboatpilot.com.