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I launched an all-out, disgusting TV binge Thursday night. But I had a great excuse. Having been without television for the preceding two weeks, I needed to give my video muscles a good stiff workout. I wanted to be at my best for Friday night's marathon coverage of the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, broadcast 12 hours after the fact from China.

What did you think of those costumes with the black headdresses? It would be worth paying for an extra suitcase just to bring a couple pairs of those fancy pajamas home from Beijing with you.

From the sublime to the ridiculous - I sank to such depths of depravity Thursday night, that in addition to watching a portion of a terrible pre-season football game between the Arizona Cardinals and New Orleans Saints, I watched an entire infomercial for Shamwow!

Shamwow, the most absorbent home cleaning towel in the history of the solar system - it's made in Germany! Shamwow holds 21 times its weight in liquid and lasts for years and years. You'll say "WOW" every time (beware of Shamwow imitators).

As best I can determine, the tradename Shamwow is a contraction of the word chamois and the common exclamation, "Wowsers!"

In case you don't know what a chamois is, your grandfather used one of those buttery soft sheepskins (minus the wool) to clean his Edsel.

If there's an infomercial out there today to rival the clip for Shamwow it is probably the upbeat spot for Tater Mitts.

Tater Mitts, the innovative new kitchen gloves for perfectly peeled potatoes. No knives!

Tater Mitts resemble standard latex kitchen gloves flocked with some kind of abrasive substance on the palms and fingers. The idea is to rub the skins off your spuds rather than put up with the tedious chore of using an old-fashioned potato peeler.

Simply rub with a few quick strokes for a hassle-free, peeled potato. Eight seconds is all you need, and the possibilities are endless.

The last time I was without television for this long was during a three-week float down the Grand Canyon in 2007. For some reason, I didn't miss infomercials and 24-hour news programs in the Big Ditch.

Yet, I was knocked off my stride while waiting for television in my new home this month. I did manage to read more books than I usually do in July and August, but it also alarmed me to realize how much my daily routine has revolved around the tube.

Thanks to the miracle of the Internet, you can watch the infomercials for Shamwow even if you are temporarily without television service, at www.shamwow.com/. For Tater Mitts, check out www.tatermitts.com/.

Either one would make an ideal wedding gift for a business colleague.

This offer not available in any store. So you don't forget, send before midnight tomorrow!