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Steamboat Smokehouse is hiring experienced servers.

Actually, they are hiring experienced servers who, among other qualities, "can talk funny (or like they were from Texas), have no philosophical problem with meat consumption, can carry beer mugs the size of small children and know how to make outgoing calls on the phone."

That's the perfect Steamboat classified ad, because most people in this town don't take life too seriously and have a serious time finding serious help.

We likely have one of the most educated restaurant workforces in the country and those workers are smart enough to know what they want - even if it's a powder day over a work ethic.

Restaurant jobs provide you with everything you need for the ski town lifestyle. They foster late nights and later mornings. Some server positions come with ski lockers and/or the ability to snowboard home from work (a perk I got from working at the Stoker Bar & Restaurant). And there's always time to do the daily crossword puzzle - except for Sunday, when it's just too freaking hard.

Benefits may not include health insurance, but the job comes with a family plan. Restaurant crews are tight. Co-workers will grab a refill for your table when you're in the weeds, and they act as a sounding board for bewildering non-committal dating problems. Some associates will even pay you $20 to roll their silverware during hard times.

One manager at a restaurant I worked at in Steamboat bailed an employee out of jail. Another manager ran around an employee's apartment naked.

If you are really lucky, you work in a restaurant that provides meals and shifters so you don't have to steal French fries off the line.

Through working in 12 restaurants, I eventually developed a sense of greater job responsibility. I was able to admit when I forgot to put in an order instead of blaming the kitchen. I would answer the phone (if I had to). I always tried to bus my own tables and I never ever served someone decaf coffee when they ordered regular because I was too lazy to brew another pot.

Working a restaurant job also comes with its sacrifices. You have to marry ketchups, become a pen klepto and occasionally get sprayed by the Coke machine when you have to clean it for your closing side work.

The worst is when an ice cube covertly gets into your apron and you end up walking around with wet pants for the rest of your shift. Or when the computers go down.

"You mean I have to add this up by hand?"

Local servers can handle 40 Triple Crowners coming in at one time without a reservation. But don't ask them to deal with a Bissell that doesn't work.

Then there's mud season.

We used to pass the time by keeping a record of mullet styles that entered the restaurant. We would guess where people were from and take bets on what they were going to order. But mostly we just read our horoscopes and complained about our bills and how slow it was.

Luckily, being a server in Steamboat Springs isn't as hard as it is in other cities. The locals are friendly and tip well. Even the worst customers are at least worth a good story.

One of my co-workers waited on patrons who asked if our gondola could take them to Vail.

Restaurant managers in town know the people they hire might be transient or visa dependent. There are no guarantees in the restaurant business.

Some of the other qualities the Smokehouse is looking for are experienced servers who, "have a sense of humor, know how to operate a touch-screen POS system, understand the concept of teamwork and can leave their attitudes at their other job."

They left out one thing - experienced servers who can translate orders for Rocky Mountain oysters, aspen groves and flat tires.